GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOTV)- Have you sometimes wondered if you are crazy or is your partner the one who is looking at your relationship in a skewed way? It is not uncommon for women who are in a controlling or abusive relationship to doubt their sanity. Perhaps you have not experienced this, but are frustrated with a partner who disrespects you and becomes angry over tiny things. If so, I have a book for you!
“One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you what you should think and tries to get you to doubt or devalue your own perceptions and beliefs.”, says Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? :Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Why Does He Do That?, is the go-to book for women searching for answers and assistance with their relationship when their husband is angry, controlling, abusive or disrespectful. Mr. Bancroft is a leader in the field of domestic abuse and has written many books on the subject. If you are thinking, “My husband is not abusive. He has never gotten physical or threatened me”, keep in mind that any disrespect or manipulation in a relationship is not ok. It is a big deal. In his book, Mr. Bancroft explains, “Controlling men fall on a spectrum of behaviors from those who exhibit only a few of the tactics described in this book to those who use almost all of them.” As the former co-director at Emerge, the nation’s first program for abusive men, he has years of experience working with and understanding the thinking and tactics of abusers. This book is his effort to help partners of these men to understand these tactics and to assist them in improving and/or surviving an abusive relationship.
“One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you what you should think and tries to get you to doubt or devalue your own perceptions and beliefs.”, says Bancroft. The book includes sections on how abusive men manipulate their families and the legal system, the nature of abusive thinking, warning signs of abuse, guidelines on what to do and more.
If you or someone you love is dealing with some or all of these issues, I highly recommend reading this book. It will validate your beliefs, relieve your mind and help you to gain your freedom from living with doubt and feeling devalued.
On October 20th, DAWN Attorneys for Women is bringing Lundy Bancroft to Grand Rapids. He will be speaking at Thousand Oaks Country Club from 5-7p.m., which includes a social hour with light refreshments and an opportunity for book signing (as well as purchase). DAWN, Safe Haven Ministries and the YWCA of West Michigan, as well as WOTV 4 Women will be there to network and get the word out on local programs available to assist and ways to become involved to help fight domestic abuse in our community. It is FREE to the public so put it on your calendar and join us!